The Sock Factory b/w Knee Socks

Worst To Best Jobs with Corresponding Songs #12: Sock Factory

Have you ever grabbed a package of socks at Walmart or Target? You know, they’re sitting out in a cardboard display, you walk by, you think, “Oh yeah. I need some socks.”

So you grab a pack of eight or ten, you throw it in the cart, and you move on.

On some level, you probably know that somebody had to have put those packages of socks in the display where you spotted them. Was it the Walmart or Target employees? No.

Then who was it? And where did these sock displays come from?

It doesn’t matter, because anyone who has a job involving sock displays probably won’t do it for very long.

I lasted one day on an assembly line at a company that put together product displays of socks for retail outlets. It was hot, dehydrating, absolutely punishing work. It was soul-crushingly boring, and that one day seemed like it would never end.

When I got home I was so physically exhausted that I fell into a deep hours-long-sleep fully clothed, with my shoes still on. When I woke up, every muscle except my tongue was screaming in agony. My girlfriend at the time said I didn’t have to go back.

That was good, because I didn’t want to go back.

A supervisor even wanted to put me closer to the head of the assembly line the next day, and I still didn’t want to go back. So I didn’t go back.

But I’d accidentally taken a box cutter from work, so I returned it to the temp agency that hired me to work at the Sock Factory. Just to settle any karmic debts that might arise from that unwitting theft.

I don’t think I ever told my girlfriend that I’d been offered a promotion on that first day. Probably because she might’ve made me go back.

But I just couldn’t have.

And now…

”Knee Socks” by Arctic Monkeys.

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