When it comes to playing cards and piano keys, 52 is a perfectly fine number. When it comes to birthdays? Also not so bad. But not awesome.
In which Citizen Jim arrives and finds a way to make a weird weekend even weirder.
In which Citizen Jim does not arrive—but a letter from him does! A long, angry, accusatory letter! Surprise!
In which Citizen Jim tries to please Chicken Sheets with a “great surprise.” Unfortunately, Chicken Sheets and Senator Robert C. Byrd have met before.
Citizen Jim arrives with an invitation to attend B.E.A. 2005—only to be rebuffed when Chicken Sheets misunderstands what B.E.A. stands for and figures he’s lying…again!
In which Citizen Jim’s future plans are dashed when he learns that he’s not the bankable fictional character he thought he was.
In which Citizen Jim arrives with a wagon full of “priceless treasure” he wants Chicken Sheets to sell for him on eBay. Uh huh…
In which Citizen Jim becomes aware of the limits placed on several modes of communication in rural America.
In which Citizen Jim arrives with big ideas about attaining a state of immortality and never-ending handsomeness.
In which something weird is happening to Farmer C.’s cows, and Citizen Jim thinks he has the answer to the puzzle. Of course, he’s not even close…BIG surprise!
In which Citizen Jim tries to keep Chicken Sheets from being up the ass of Twitter so she can advise him on a domestic matter.
In which Citizen Jim arrives at the home of Chicken Sheets to enlist her for a top-priority mission that she absolutely refuses to accept.
In which Citizen Jim arrives and begs Chicken Sheets to make up her mind about the purpose of the story she is writing.
In which Citizen Jim arrives with big news—but not before the police beat on the door with their rubber truncheons.
In which Citizen Jim finds out that no good deed goes unpunished.
In which Citizen Jim arrives to wreck yet another Kate Winslet Day.
In which Citizen Jim arrives in need of a ride and some reassurance from Chicken Sheets, who can offer neither at this time.
In which Citizen Jim arrives with surprising news for Chicken Sheets. But she already knows that ViDalia doesn’t read her Citizen Jim Stories.
In which Citizen Jim spins an unlikely tale of being stalked on the Internet by a long lost love.
After Pope Benedict XVI “retires” and Pope Francis is elected, Citizen Jim is ready to try out his new comedy act on the other side of the Atlantic.
In which Citizen Jim arrives on a special mission from the highest office in the land—a mission that leads him to the doorstep of Chicken Sheets.
In which Citizen Jim arrives the day after Chicken Sheets has binged on junk food with a resident—the results of which are as disgusting and sad as you might expect.
In which Citizen Jim arrives to inform Chicken Sheets that her sister has played “the dirtiest trick in the book” on her before giving her the worst advice on how to turn the tables on ViDalia.
In which Citizen Jim arrives and makes a scene (not to mention a huge mess) at a national pharmacy chain while Chicken Sheets maps out her scheme for finally becoming a best-selling author.
After she escapes from work with the help of her former nemesis, Chicken Sheets’s plans to celebrate the birthday of British movie starlet Kate Winslet are almost – ALMOST – thwarted by Citizen Jim.
In which Citizen Jim arrives while Chicken Sheets is daydreaming about having her own show on a radio station in Tipperarry, Ireland. But why is her bathroom door destroyed?
In which Citizen Jim arrives late in the story and accuses Chicken Sheets of contemplating rank, unconscionable perfidy.
In which Citizen Jim arrives in full costume to make sure Chicken Sheets knows it’s Pride Week, and to make sure she’s “still queer.”
In which Citizen Jim arrives for a little blood-letting, and can’t believe he has to tell a bed-ridden Chicken Sheets who’s hosting SNL…
In which Citizen Jim needs a holiday favor from Chicken Sheets.
In which Citizen Jim arrives right before the Labor Day holiday weekend and is mortally wounded in a shooting incident not related to labor unions or holidays or weekends.
Citizen Jim arrives in the middle of a home improvement project, accusing Chicken Sheets of dating a handy man and raging at her for making him miss a trip overseas with his wife, an alchemist/folk dancer.
In which CitizenJim arrives during a pop-up sale of pottery made by Chicken Sheets’s friend Candaleeza, and makes a fool of Chicken Sheets.
In which Citizen Jim comes out of hiding to castigate Chicken Sheets for not sharing an important Hollywood tidbit with him. (If you’re triggered by the phrase “WITCH HUNT,” stop reading.)
In which Citizen Jim arrives full of advice and wisdom about the “Coriander Flu,” and tries to use his power to stop a celebrity booty call.
In which Citizen Jim arrives on the Gulf Coast to save Chicken Sheets from Hurricane Barry. And to give her a very important message from the BBC.
In which Lord Gorblimey of Crikey Downs (a/k/a Citizen Jim) arrives with the news that the Duke and Duchess of Sussex will soon be arriving to stay with Chicken Sheets. But just until they can get back on their feet.
In which Citizen Jim arrives and mistakes Chicken Sheets’s explanation of the morning’s events as an admission that she has “switched teams.”
In which Chicken Sheets is diagnosed with old age and feeble-mindedness over the telephone at the same time that Citizen Jim arrives to inspire her with a classic rock album by Captain Beefheart.
In which Citizen Jim arrives during a counseling session and teaches Chicken Sheets’s therapist a thing or two about…a thing or two.
In which Citizen Jim arrives just in time to witness a heinous act of destruction, while continuously failing to say the name of author Virginie Despentes correctly.
In which Citizen Jim arrives where Chicken Sheets works and nearly turns her posse against her in fifteen minutes’ time.
Citizen Jim arrives on Independence Day to confront Chicken Sheets with his suspicions that the days of Citizen Jim Stories are numbered…
In which Citizen Jim tries to advise Chicken Sheets regarding her job at a retirement facility.
In which Citizen Jim arrives on July Fourth with firecrackers and stink bombs, only to find Chicken Sheets even less patriotic than she usually is.
In which Citizen Jim finds himself in the fight of his life against geriatrics when he goes looking for Chicken Sheets.
In which Citizen Jim attempts to save Chicken Sheets from a romantic mishap through the most crackpot, meticulous and ridiculous means possible.
To make Chicken Sheets’s day better, Citizen Jim goes to a lot of trouble. Maybe way too much trouble.
In which Citizen Jim arrives after the “last” Citizen Jim story has already been posted online.
In which Citizen Jim arrives being drunk and disorderly, with a plan to enter Jay in the cat show…