Sick Day

In which Citizen Jim arrives the day after Chicken Sheets has binged on junk food with a resident—the results of which are as disgusting and sad as you might expect.

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A Trickster Tale

In which Citizen Jim arrives to inform Chicken Sheets that her sister has played “the dirtiest trick in the book” on her before giving her the worst advice on how to turn the tables on ViDalia.

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A Run for It

In which Citizen Jim arrives and makes a scene (not to mention a huge mess) at a national pharmacy chain while Chicken Sheets maps out her scheme for finally becoming a best-selling author.

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Night Blondness

In which Citizen Jim comes out of hiding to castigate Chicken Sheets for not sharing an important Hollywood tidbit with him. (If you’re triggered by the phrase “WITCH HUNT,” stop reading.)

Read This Story Night Blondness


In which Chicken Sheets is diagnosed with old age and feeble-mindedness over the telephone at the same time that Citizen Jim arrives to inspire her with a classic rock album by Captain Beefheart.

Read This Story Frownland

By the Dawn’s Early Light

In which Citizen Jim arrives just in time to witness a heinous act of destruction, while continuously failing to say the name of author Virginie Despentes correctly. At four in the morning on 4 July I was in the front yard digging a hole four feet wide, four feet long, and six feet deep. I…

Read This Story By the Dawn’s Early Light