Sign up for a free membership? Why the hell would anyone do that?
Because every so often (and I’ll put the emphasis on “often”) there’ll be contests, quizzes, blog posts, stories, and cat photos or videos (!!!) that will be available only to registered readers of this website.
Contests? Really? You mean, like, prize- or cash-based contests?
Well. Okay. Sometimes prizes, less often cash. I mean, come on. We’re pretty close to the tail-end of late-stage capitalism. Money may not always be worth anything. But a non-monetary prize will be a prize forever.
But what if you start charging for memberships? Will I have to pay you to read this crap then?
If you sign up for free today—right now!—you will always have free access to exclusive or premium content.
So sign up! Tell your friends to sign up! Tell your friends to tell their friends who aren’t your friends to sign up!
You won’t sell my email to some awful corporation or spam the crap out of me if I sign up for a free membership, right?
Absolutely not, and absolutely not! You might get emails about winning a contest or qualifying to win a giant quiz prize, but not about life insurance or reverse mortgages or hemp gummies.
Plus, it’s still a somewhat free country, so you can cancel your membership at any time.
Wait. Who are you?
I’m a writer and a reader and a cat mom who doesn’t have to answer to anyone about the way I choose to spend my free time. I choose to spend my free time blogging, writing stories, and taking endless, ceaseless, countless pictures of my two cat-children.
Oh, Christ. I’m outta here. Good luck with all that.
No, wait! It’ll be fun, I promise. Stay and register, please.
The first twenty-five people who register will have a chance to win a prize!
A prize? Like money, you mean?
Oh my God. Give that a rest. It’ll probably be a gift card to BookShop.org, or maybe a t-shirt. I haven’t decided yet. Just fill out the form.